Sunday

Wow, what a day. Today is another one of those days when the blog may be a little difficult to read. I will mostly be doing some of my own work here, some of you will be doing it with me, others will simply want to know how Deb is doing.

I will start with the physical update. Today Debbie completed the chemo early in the morning. The Dr. came in and let her know that we would not know if it had any affect for 2 to 3 weeks. She received 2 units of blood today to help her system. The pain medicine that was going into her on a regular basis was canceled and now she can only get that by pushing a button. They did put her on a patch, and since it is 1:00 in the morning I can't remember the name of the drug, but it helps with the pain. So far the side affects have not been too difficult from the chemo.

She is still suffering from the side affects of her surgery. Apparently with all the difficulty in her back spasms etc. she may have partially collapsed a lung. That would be the reason for the continued need for oxygen. Neither Debbie or Dr. Bala seemed to concerned about it. Debbie said she just needed to slowly work on taking deeper breaths. Man is she tough as nails or what?!

Now on to the more emotional side of the day, I will include some details from my day and then Debbies, then some family time.

Today I decided I wanted to be sure the kids had a "normal" routine. So we got up late, hectically got ready for church and headed out the door about 15 minutes late. Pretty normal, except that I had forgotten to tell my parents what time church starts and so they were very helpful in getting us out the door, but it left them no time to get ready. They made the most of their day cleaning our house, shopping and cleaning our house. (THANK YOU MOM AND DAD!)

So as Megan, Ryan and I arrived at church we went strolling in. That is when the first wave of emotion hit me. Debbie always takes the kids up to their class, while I head to ours to say hello to all the other members of "my" class who have had the same hectic morning getting their kids out of bed late etc.

I had several waves of emotion, but it was great to be "home" at church. You are all part of our family and we are blessed to have so many wonderful people sharing this process with us!

After church the Upham's, Lawson's, and Lawerence's went to Stake and Shake, then it was divide and concur time. Ryan left with Ewelle, Joe and Katie Lawson while I took Megan to her friend Sara Keely. I then went to see Deb. (by the way, forgive me if I misspell name's again it is late, or early depending on how you view time!)

When I arrived she was very tired from her morning.

She started out with Nick at 7:30, Dr. Bala came at some point, Grady came over and had a wonderful church service and time of devotion, others also came, again, sorry it is late and I can't remember Debbies entire report to me, plus she was tired and may have forgotten to tell me some details. I do know that Cathy and Pat came over with communion and Rick Matson was able to stop by as well. This made for a wonderful Sunday morning worship time for Debbie. Thank you all for sharing in the love of Christ.

After I received the report it was fairly quiet during the early afternoon.

Ryan arrived, and then Megan. Debbie felt up to taking a walk, though today she is having more weakness. The four of us did a lap around the nurses station. It was the first time the kids have seen Debbie standing all week. They were very excited! Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at it the emotions of the week did finally come out. Megan clung to Debbie and did not want to leave. After some talking and leaving Megan alone with Debbie for some mommy time we were able to leave the hospital around 6:20. Megan was very upset wanting her mommy home. Tears were rolling down my face, Ryan had tears down his face and was trying to distract his sister with races from one point to the other, which did not help, and Megan simply cried and demanded her mom leave with us.

We did finally make it home. But we missed Americas Funniest Video's, an Upham tradition on Sunday nights! :) After Milk shakes, baths, books and other evening routines I was able to pray with the kids. We prayed for strength and for Mommy getting better. It was a difficult bed time but they made it and did well, going to sleep pretty quick, according to my parents.

I headed back to the hospital to help Debbie, as she was an emotional wreck after Megan left. Vicki had done her magic already and had left, Ewell was there when I arrived a little after 9:00. After he left, Debbie and I together had our first real talk and grieving time together. We cried, we laughed, we hugged. I felt better afterward, I think she did too.

Will the Chemo work? I sure hope so!!! When I try to allow myself to imagine life with out Debbie the thought is still just too painful, so for now I am grieving the drastic change in our lives. We will continue to hope for the best, and prepare for the worst.

As I have written before; it is hard....

And again thank you all for sharing this journey with us.

Andy