I just got word, Larry, the executive director at Coyote Hill and the person responsible for helping me set up this blog; has a daughter, Amanda, who has had new growth in her tumor. Obviously with the crazy way cancer can act it is very important to jump all over this. If you would like to follow her with your prayers you can go to http://cheersforamanda.blogspot.com Larry and she are at MD Anderson right now awaiting more test. Please pour out your hearts to the Lord. Cancer has stolen enough from us, Amanda needs to be a positive story of healing!
As for the kids and I, we are on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I described it to someone as the typical ups, downs, quick turns and twist. The good news is that God is our safety harness keeping us firmly planted!
Tonight my heart is once again breaking with the news of Amanda's cancer spreading, it has been just too soon since I heard that news about Debbie. I just pray that the miracles that can happen do happen for her. Also I have to remind myself that every cancer is different.
Keep watching this blog, as I will update everyone later when we have the service of spreading Debbie's ashes in Fayette. We are working on getting a nice oak tree and a granite bench to place on the campus of CMU. This will likely take place in the fall. Most of her ashes will be there, some will go into the ground at our house with another tree, some to a tree at Fairview UMC, and just because Debbie thought it would be fun, a little will go to the Virgin Islands where we got engaged and had our honeymoon.
Thank you all for your continued prayers for us, and now for Amanda and the McDaniel family.
Andy
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Friday, May 23, 2008
Welcome Home
On Sunday May 18th Debbie went to walk with the Lord following a valiant fight against cancer. She passed away in her home surrounded by family and friends. A Celebration of her life will be held at Linn Memorial United Methodist Church in Fayette, Missouri on Sunday, May 25th, 2008 at 4:00 p.m.Debbie was born in Kansas City, Missouri; daughter of Joyce and Gale Stotlemyre. Her father Paul Gale Stotlemyre passed away when she was only two years old.
Later she moved to Stover, Missouri where she graduated Valedictorian in 1986. From there she attended Central
Methodist College in Fayette Missouri where she lettered in Basketball and Volleyball and served as President of her Sorority as well as being active in several service and education fraternities. She graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1990. She worked on a doctorate in Bio-Chemistry at the University of Missouri for several years. She then attended the School of Veterinary Medicine at the University
of Missouri, Columbia where she graduated in 1998. She practiced small animal medicine at Boonslick Animal Hospital in Boonville Missouri for the past 10 years. She was the president of the West Central Missouri Veterinary Medical Association.
Debbie had a passion for children and served as a house parent at Rainbow House in Columbia from 1993-2000. Debbie loved God and expressed that through the work of Fairview United Methodist
Church in Columbia, Missouri as a worker with youth, a leader in missions, and helping coordinate the annual “Little Bethlehem” live nativity event.
Most of all she relished her role as wife and mother. She married Andrew Upham on October 10th, 1992. She poured her soul into making a fun and loving home with her beloved Andrew and their children Ryan 7 and Megan 4. Debbie is survived by her husband and children, her mother and stepfather Joyce and Dave Williams of Sedalia, Missouri, her brother Michael Stotlemyre of Chillicothe, Ohio, her brother and sister-in-law Gary and Tiffany Smith and their son Stevie of St. Peters, Missouri, her Grandmother Martha Heman and many aunts, uncles, in-laws and friends.
In lieu of flowers, donations to the ongoing ministries to youth at Coyote Hill Christian Children’s Home, www.coyotehill.org, are suggested as a fitting memorial to this wonderful woman.
Tributes can be left online at www.memorialfuneralhomeandcemetery.com
* * *
You may download the complete obituary posted above by clicking here.
It is a pdf file. Should you need the free pdf file reader, you can find it here.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Writing
Last night I started a journal for myself. It is filled with my love for Debbie, my love for God, and my broken heart. As a therapist I often instruct my clients to write. I have been writing in this blog, it has helped. As I write in my journal I pray for continued healing. I tell my clients in the beginning to simply "barf" on paper. Get it all out! I am expressing my inner feelings and frustrations there, I also express some of them here. I will spare you the "barfing" ! I know many of you too are struggling with broken hearts. I encourage you to write your thoughts and feelings in your journals as well.
Debbie kept a journal, she gave me permission to read it after she passed. She was not faithful in writing often. Sometimes months would pass between her writing. Her journal is a conversation between herself and God. It is such a treat to fall in love with my wife all over again as I read her writing. It is a testament to her faith, a testament to her weakness, a testament to God's unfailing grace and mercy, which truly was and is her eternal strength!!
Tonight I wrote the obituary for the paper. I will type it in here tomorrow, after I let others proof read it. Debbie has been and done so many things it is hard to keep it short. There is no way to adequately express the depth and beauty of her in a paragraph. Thankfully for most of us on this blog, we have been able to share in the love of Debbie. I like the stories. Greg, you could do me a favor and cut and paste your story to the blog, it is a testament to Deb. For everyone else feel free to post your memories, you can do as many as you would like, please remember to sign them at the bottom with your name. I get many anonymous posts that have no name. Unless you really want to be anonymous which is fine.
Just typing this post tonight has helped me to feel a little better. Gary, Tiffany and many others in St. Louis are going through pictures, LOTS of pictures to help get ready for Sunday. I know that there are many joyous laughs in their hearts, followed by the ache of loss. I want to thank them for going through this difficult time to help us all remember the wonderful life of Debbie.
I am heading in to write in my journal tonight, I will lean into the arms of God as He brings me rest. Tomorrow I will awaken and help plan the memorial, the celebration of Debbie's life. God will have to continue to Carry me, the depth of my sorrow is only relieved by the overwhelming depth of his love, often expressed through His people. (Humpty Dumpty Preschool families, you have been an overwhelming blessing today! The timing and gifts were perfect!) God truly continues to place people in the right place at the right time. Thank you all, and good night!!!
Debbie kept a journal, she gave me permission to read it after she passed. She was not faithful in writing often. Sometimes months would pass between her writing. Her journal is a conversation between herself and God. It is such a treat to fall in love with my wife all over again as I read her writing. It is a testament to her faith, a testament to her weakness, a testament to God's unfailing grace and mercy, which truly was and is her eternal strength!!
Tonight I wrote the obituary for the paper. I will type it in here tomorrow, after I let others proof read it. Debbie has been and done so many things it is hard to keep it short. There is no way to adequately express the depth and beauty of her in a paragraph. Thankfully for most of us on this blog, we have been able to share in the love of Debbie. I like the stories. Greg, you could do me a favor and cut and paste your story to the blog, it is a testament to Deb. For everyone else feel free to post your memories, you can do as many as you would like, please remember to sign them at the bottom with your name. I get many anonymous posts that have no name. Unless you really want to be anonymous which is fine.
Just typing this post tonight has helped me to feel a little better. Gary, Tiffany and many others in St. Louis are going through pictures, LOTS of pictures to help get ready for Sunday. I know that there are many joyous laughs in their hearts, followed by the ache of loss. I want to thank them for going through this difficult time to help us all remember the wonderful life of Debbie.
I am heading in to write in my journal tonight, I will lean into the arms of God as He brings me rest. Tomorrow I will awaken and help plan the memorial, the celebration of Debbie's life. God will have to continue to Carry me, the depth of my sorrow is only relieved by the overwhelming depth of his love, often expressed through His people. (Humpty Dumpty Preschool families, you have been an overwhelming blessing today! The timing and gifts were perfect!) God truly continues to place people in the right place at the right time. Thank you all, and good night!!!
Monday, May 19, 2008
Many Thanks...
I have just started to look through the numerous postings and messages of care. I will continue to read those throughout the day.
One concern that keeps coming up is sending flowers etc. Debbie and I had talked and both agree that flowers are pretty, but they wilt way too soon. Instead of sending flowers etc. please consider making a one time donation to Coyote Hill, or even better commit to a small monthly donation that will continue the ministry and continue the memory of Debbie. You can go to www.coyotehill.org and make on line donations or send the donation to the address provided there.
Debbie has been in ministry with youth most of her adult life. There is no greater joy than to see children and youth nurtured and encouraged in the knowledge of Christ's love for them. We were house parents at Rainbow House for many years, and the ministry of Coyote Hill has been a part of our family for over 7 years now. Coyote Hill has not only been in ministry to the children, but for the past month they have ministered to our family by allowing me time off and the ability to care for Debbie, Ryan and Megan.
I thank you all for your desire to express your love. Our family, and the kids at Coyote Hill continue to be held in the hands of God, your donation there will make an eternally significant difference.
Dr. Nick Campbell and I went to Memorial Funeral home today to make some plans. At this time I can tell you that there will be a Celebration of Debbie's Life on Sunday May 25th at 4:00. Due to the very large number of family and friends, and the fact that Debbie and I met at Central Methodist, we will be having the service at Linn Memorial United Methodist Church on the campus of Central Methodist University in Fayette, Missouri. Parking may be a little difficult there, so let's all pray for a beautiful spring day. Walking the campus of Central is a fond memory and I hope that many of you are able to experience the joy of Spring flowers in Fayette.
Also, Fairview UMC continues to provide a section of their web-site to provide more information. www.frontyardchurch.org
I will continue to Blog for a while. Not sure how long... probably until it stops being therapeutic for me to do so.
Thank you,
Andy
One concern that keeps coming up is sending flowers etc. Debbie and I had talked and both agree that flowers are pretty, but they wilt way too soon. Instead of sending flowers etc. please consider making a one time donation to Coyote Hill, or even better commit to a small monthly donation that will continue the ministry and continue the memory of Debbie. You can go to www.coyotehill.org and make on line donations or send the donation to the address provided there.
Debbie has been in ministry with youth most of her adult life. There is no greater joy than to see children and youth nurtured and encouraged in the knowledge of Christ's love for them. We were house parents at Rainbow House for many years, and the ministry of Coyote Hill has been a part of our family for over 7 years now. Coyote Hill has not only been in ministry to the children, but for the past month they have ministered to our family by allowing me time off and the ability to care for Debbie, Ryan and Megan.
I thank you all for your desire to express your love. Our family, and the kids at Coyote Hill continue to be held in the hands of God, your donation there will make an eternally significant difference.
Dr. Nick Campbell and I went to Memorial Funeral home today to make some plans. At this time I can tell you that there will be a Celebration of Debbie's Life on Sunday May 25th at 4:00. Due to the very large number of family and friends, and the fact that Debbie and I met at Central Methodist, we will be having the service at Linn Memorial United Methodist Church on the campus of Central Methodist University in Fayette, Missouri. Parking may be a little difficult there, so let's all pray for a beautiful spring day. Walking the campus of Central is a fond memory and I hope that many of you are able to experience the joy of Spring flowers in Fayette.
Also, Fairview UMC continues to provide a section of their web-site to provide more information. www.frontyardchurch.org
I will continue to Blog for a while. Not sure how long... probably until it stops being therapeutic for me to do so.
Thank you,
Andy
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Hello Stover!
Debbie and I are so sorry! Last night while Gary, Mike and myself were talking we realized that no one had called Tia White, formally Warnkey (sp?)! Thankfully Gary was able to reach her and she was able to come right down this morning. Tia is Debbies BFF, Best Friend For Life. She proved it today with all the help and love she shared. I know also that many friends from Stover are just finding the site. I am glad that Tia was able to come over and share stories with us. I could tell just how happy Debbie was to have her here and be able to tell Tia she loved her!
Debbie has continued to fail today. This morning at 5:30 I was able to help her to the bathroom by myself. She slept most of the day, as we tried to keep her comfortable. She drank some water up until sometime afternoon. She has pretty much stopped drinking, and is unable to even sit up unassisted. Her speech is weak and slurred, when she is able to say anything. She continues to be able to say "I love you."
By 7:30 Mike, Tia, my mother and myself, were able to help her to the "potty" when she asked to go. I in no way could have done it by myself, she just does not have the muscle control anymore.
Her fingers and toes are showing signs of discoloration, her breathing is shallow and labored. We continue to manage her pain. Kim P. copied a lot of praise music and one of the cd's we made on a work camp in 2002 to K.C. She is worshiping in spirit, she is in God's hands now, still on this side of the world, soon to be in heaven with no pain!
These are precious and tear filled times, yet somehow we also find time to laugh and tell stories of fun times. Sometimes Deb lets us know she is hearing everything we say. I know that she is with us still and knows everyone loves her as much as she loves them.
I weep and I cry, then I come back to enjoying every precious moment of life she has left. I will cry many many more tears, but God still comforts my heart, even when I yell at Him.
I love Debbie so much, there are times I can't believe this is happening.
I will join her brothers by the fire out back now and tell stories of our 2o years together, (only 16 married! :) ) I like the the thought of being able to see her in a short time when we are together in heaven.....
Tomorrow is another Sunday. I might be able to come to church, I am not sure it is hard to leave Debbie, but her mom will be here to sit with Deb.
By the way, I want to print this blog off in it entirety and then bind it for the kids to read when they are older. Does anyone know how I can do this in a way that will hold up over time?
Debbie has continued to fail today. This morning at 5:30 I was able to help her to the bathroom by myself. She slept most of the day, as we tried to keep her comfortable. She drank some water up until sometime afternoon. She has pretty much stopped drinking, and is unable to even sit up unassisted. Her speech is weak and slurred, when she is able to say anything. She continues to be able to say "I love you."
By 7:30 Mike, Tia, my mother and myself, were able to help her to the "potty" when she asked to go. I in no way could have done it by myself, she just does not have the muscle control anymore.
Her fingers and toes are showing signs of discoloration, her breathing is shallow and labored. We continue to manage her pain. Kim P. copied a lot of praise music and one of the cd's we made on a work camp in 2002 to K.C. She is worshiping in spirit, she is in God's hands now, still on this side of the world, soon to be in heaven with no pain!
These are precious and tear filled times, yet somehow we also find time to laugh and tell stories of fun times. Sometimes Deb lets us know she is hearing everything we say. I know that she is with us still and knows everyone loves her as much as she loves them.
I weep and I cry, then I come back to enjoying every precious moment of life she has left. I will cry many many more tears, but God still comforts my heart, even when I yell at Him.
I love Debbie so much, there are times I can't believe this is happening.
I will join her brothers by the fire out back now and tell stories of our 2o years together, (only 16 married! :) ) I like the the thought of being able to see her in a short time when we are together in heaven.....
Tomorrow is another Sunday. I might be able to come to church, I am not sure it is hard to leave Debbie, but her mom will be here to sit with Deb.
By the way, I want to print this blog off in it entirety and then bind it for the kids to read when they are older. Does anyone know how I can do this in a way that will hold up over time?
Friday, May 16, 2008
On a journey
Deb continues to decline. Today she has not been able to stand on her own. She can not fully control her arms and mouth. Basically she is able to know we are around, she can speak enough to let us know she knows what we are saying.
She told Megan that she is going to be with Jesus. Megan loved on her and Mom loved on her daughter with all the strength she had, plus a lot more than I would have imagined. Ryan has asked if mom is going to die, I let him know she will. We are all tearful.
Tonight Megan and Ryan are at Rod and Kim's along with the Baker kids. What a fun night! Thank you all for lifting us up in your prayers. Debbie and I discussed that this would be a difficult journey. Obviously we had no way of knowing how difficult, and how fast. The progression over this past week has been very dramatic. I believe that at this point it will be a short journey indeed. Our beloved will be pain free soon. We will take longer.... God will continue to hold us tight.
I will sign off to cry now...
thank you
andy
She told Megan that she is going to be with Jesus. Megan loved on her and Mom loved on her daughter with all the strength she had, plus a lot more than I would have imagined. Ryan has asked if mom is going to die, I let him know she will. We are all tearful.
Tonight Megan and Ryan are at Rod and Kim's along with the Baker kids. What a fun night! Thank you all for lifting us up in your prayers. Debbie and I discussed that this would be a difficult journey. Obviously we had no way of knowing how difficult, and how fast. The progression over this past week has been very dramatic. I believe that at this point it will be a short journey indeed. Our beloved will be pain free soon. We will take longer.... God will continue to hold us tight.
I will sign off to cry now...
thank you
andy
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Hospice
Today was again a very rough day. Debbie has barely enough energy to make the trips to the Dr. By the time we were in Dr. Bala's office Debbie was in terrible pain, I hit her button prior to leaving, and just around the time we entered the office. Dr. Bala discussed the fact that he had found another study, but it too was canceled. He discussed the fact that there really is no cure, or even ability to slow this down. He has consulted with Dr. Atkins (sp?) at Washington University. Dr. Starke, Dr. Beyer, and of course Dr. Bala all agree that there is no more treatment for Debbie. Debbie agrees that at this time she does not want to do any more chemo or radiation treatments, she is just too sick to get out every day and go to the treatments. She does not want to endure more side effects from the chemo that we have always known would have next to no hope of affecting the cancer anyway.
Missouri River Hospice will be providing in home care for Debbie and for us. While doing my internship I worked with Community Hospice and know how they work. I am hopeful that we will be able to keep Debbie comfortable.
I am walking around feeling like I am in wet concrete. I am recycling through the grief process about every 30 minutes. Anger, disbelief, bargaining, disbelief, anger, numbness..... pretty much what any good social worker would expect.
The sun has come out. As I sit hear looking out at the bird feeders I think of the beauty of the birds we have seen just today. Red Breasted Grosbeaks, indigo bunting, scarlet tanager, blue jay, blue bird, red breasted woodpecker, downy woodpecker, robins, red wing black birds, cardinals, mourning doves, and many other little ones I can't remember the names of. I hurt, yet I continue to see beauty. Debbie told me to slow down and breath earlier. As I breath I ache, and still I feel the comfort of God. This is a very strange and yet real time.
Missouri River Hospice will be providing in home care for Debbie and for us. While doing my internship I worked with Community Hospice and know how they work. I am hopeful that we will be able to keep Debbie comfortable.
I am walking around feeling like I am in wet concrete. I am recycling through the grief process about every 30 minutes. Anger, disbelief, bargaining, disbelief, anger, numbness..... pretty much what any good social worker would expect.
The sun has come out. As I sit hear looking out at the bird feeders I think of the beauty of the birds we have seen just today. Red Breasted Grosbeaks, indigo bunting, scarlet tanager, blue jay, blue bird, red breasted woodpecker, downy woodpecker, robins, red wing black birds, cardinals, mourning doves, and many other little ones I can't remember the names of. I hurt, yet I continue to see beauty. Debbie told me to slow down and breath earlier. As I breath I ache, and still I feel the comfort of God. This is a very strange and yet real time.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Surprise, I blogged early!
I have recognized that getting rest is important. It is difficult, but important. Thank you all for trying to remind me nicely that I should occasionally go to bed. The few hours of sleep last night has caught up to me tonight. I definitely prayed the prayer from Marion.
I was overwhelmed today by the wonderful gifts of love from Boonville and from Fairview! I don't know how we could begin to thank you all for your donations and gifts. As was mentioned by one wonderful church member today, she is paying back for all the grace and love shared with her in a time of need. I know that this is what God would have his people do. I also know that there will be many more helped through difficult times in the future. Debbie and I have raised our children to be givers, they will know the wonderful gifts of love that we have received, I know they will always share their gifts with others in their time of need as will Debbie and myself. That is what God has us all doing, living as a family, His children. All I can say right now is THANK YOU! My hope is that if Debbie is not able to physically join us on a trip that the kids and I can get away eventually. The gifts from today will make that possible. Again, Thank you.
Debbie has continued to be confused, she is sleeping most of the time. Sherri was placed by Angels today to help Deb into the Radiation. AND THEN SHE WAITED TO HELP US OUT!! Deb came out and vomited in the parking lot. She was in a wheel chair and we were able to help her into the car. After getting her into the car it hit me at just how awesome it was that Sherri was there! God really does work in wonderful ways. Thank you Sherri for being a vessel!
Deb was able to drink a couple of Boosts today. Though I think they both came up with a vengeance. I think there is a lot of Bile coming up now. Tomorrow I will visit with Dr. Bala about options. Jenny thank you for looking into things. If you have questions that I have not answered in the blog, let me know. I do have all of the CT's, Bone scan, MRI's, and Pet scans on disc. If you don't have my phone number you can always e-mail me directly. If you need to e-mail me outside of this forum don't hesitate. I can not respond to your e-mail address from the blog, though all blog comments get e-mailed to me. I usually go to my e-mail first so I don't have to search back through the posts to look for new messages. I get notified each time, no mater where it was posted, but I never get e-mail addresses to respond too.
Anyway, I am tired, I will let you all go to bed tonight knowing I won't blog again until tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers, they are working, it does help, God is responding!
Amen
I was overwhelmed today by the wonderful gifts of love from Boonville and from Fairview! I don't know how we could begin to thank you all for your donations and gifts. As was mentioned by one wonderful church member today, she is paying back for all the grace and love shared with her in a time of need. I know that this is what God would have his people do. I also know that there will be many more helped through difficult times in the future. Debbie and I have raised our children to be givers, they will know the wonderful gifts of love that we have received, I know they will always share their gifts with others in their time of need as will Debbie and myself. That is what God has us all doing, living as a family, His children. All I can say right now is THANK YOU! My hope is that if Debbie is not able to physically join us on a trip that the kids and I can get away eventually. The gifts from today will make that possible. Again, Thank you.
Debbie has continued to be confused, she is sleeping most of the time. Sherri was placed by Angels today to help Deb into the Radiation. AND THEN SHE WAITED TO HELP US OUT!! Deb came out and vomited in the parking lot. She was in a wheel chair and we were able to help her into the car. After getting her into the car it hit me at just how awesome it was that Sherri was there! God really does work in wonderful ways. Thank you Sherri for being a vessel!
Deb was able to drink a couple of Boosts today. Though I think they both came up with a vengeance. I think there is a lot of Bile coming up now. Tomorrow I will visit with Dr. Bala about options. Jenny thank you for looking into things. If you have questions that I have not answered in the blog, let me know. I do have all of the CT's, Bone scan, MRI's, and Pet scans on disc. If you don't have my phone number you can always e-mail me directly. If you need to e-mail me outside of this forum don't hesitate. I can not respond to your e-mail address from the blog, though all blog comments get e-mailed to me. I usually go to my e-mail first so I don't have to search back through the posts to look for new messages. I get notified each time, no mater where it was posted, but I never get e-mail addresses to respond too.
Anyway, I am tired, I will let you all go to bed tonight knowing I won't blog again until tomorrow.
Thank you all for your prayers, they are working, it does help, God is responding!
Amen
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Day of rest.
Thankfully the day of vomiting has ended, but it is continuing to be a day of rest. Debbie has not eaten all day. I was able to get a little Boost in her, but not really enough to say she had a lot of calories to burn. Earlier the fluids kept coming up, tonight she is able to keep down water. Though the last time she went to the bathroom I don't think she really urinated. I have not really blogged much about bowel movements, but after 3 or 4 weeks of no bowel movements I am sure the vomiting is related. I give her pill after pill of stool softener, she is taking her supplements, eating roughage (when she can), she has had an enema with no result, taken the Mag (and vomited it up!) I purchased some caster oil and mineral oil. If I can get that down her without her throwing up I will be amazed. So as much as I have been reluctant to ask for prayers for a good bowel movement, I guess it is time. So, if you have never prayed for this before I am sure God will enjoy and respond to the chuckle in our hearts, but also he will know the seriousness of our plea. Hey God, how about a good movement!!!!
Cindy, your comment about the heat makes total sense!! We have been convinced that the pain meds have been causing the sweating, but I too remember how hot Debs leg was when the tumor was in there. I guess if we can imagine the amount of tumor in her marrow and throughout her body it makes sense she would be hot from that as well.
Grady and Vicki came over tonight and were a huge help in getting my medical files organized! It is amazing how much paper work can be generated! I have found a new cause for "global warming" between the trees cut down, the machines churning it out, the mail trucks delivering and my frustration level rising as I read more and more paper work that is sent to me only to tell me that more mail is coming and thanking me for my patients!!!! ARRRGGG!!! Thankfully Vicki got me organized and we paid bills, pitched some stuff, and filed others. We made copy after copy to send to Combined insurance, because now I am a part of creating more paper work for another company to send me some paper work on how I need to send more paper work! :) I am glad for organized people, I am not one of them, many of you are saying a big amen to that! One look at my office at work would confirm my disdain for dealing with paper and filing.
O.K. enough venting on that subject, thank you all for the therapy session... after all for me this blog is a great way to vent out some of the frustrations of dealing with this.
Once again I will end my blog with...CANCER SUCKS!
Andy
Cindy, your comment about the heat makes total sense!! We have been convinced that the pain meds have been causing the sweating, but I too remember how hot Debs leg was when the tumor was in there. I guess if we can imagine the amount of tumor in her marrow and throughout her body it makes sense she would be hot from that as well.
Grady and Vicki came over tonight and were a huge help in getting my medical files organized! It is amazing how much paper work can be generated! I have found a new cause for "global warming" between the trees cut down, the machines churning it out, the mail trucks delivering and my frustration level rising as I read more and more paper work that is sent to me only to tell me that more mail is coming and thanking me for my patients!!!! ARRRGGG!!! Thankfully Vicki got me organized and we paid bills, pitched some stuff, and filed others. We made copy after copy to send to Combined insurance, because now I am a part of creating more paper work for another company to send me some paper work on how I need to send more paper work! :) I am glad for organized people, I am not one of them, many of you are saying a big amen to that! One look at my office at work would confirm my disdain for dealing with paper and filing.
O.K. enough venting on that subject, thank you all for the therapy session... after all for me this blog is a great way to vent out some of the frustrations of dealing with this.
Once again I will end my blog with...CANCER SUCKS!
Andy
I guess it had to happen
After several "good" days, today has turned out to be a lot different. Around 3:00 a.m. this morning Debbie woke up to use the bathroom and began vomiting. She got back to bed and slept until 7:30 then again she was vomiting as she got up. She did the same at 9:30. During our trip to the Dr. for radiation treatment of her hip she was almost awake for the entire trip, basically she had been hitting the anti-nausea pump enough to really make her sleep. This afternoon she was vomiting again when I got her up for a shower. Now she is sitting in her chair in the new addition sleeping soundly, or not so soundly if you count the snoring. She was concerning me some with a raspy cough, but that seems to have subsided.
Yesterday when we spoke with Dr. Breyer he was able to go over the CT scan with us. He pointed out a tumor in her left lung about the size of a golf ball, that last month had been the size of 9mm bullet. There were other tumors that have grown in the lung as well as the fluid, that was the 1.5 liters they pulled off prior to her leaving the hospital. He also pointed out that the small tail end of the pancreas was tumor, and he showed me some areas in the midsection of the pancreas that were highly suspicious of being tumor related.
I did get a little bold and asked the question that we have not asked since Dr. Bala initially gave Debbie a year to live. That was knowing what we know now how long? He of course was hesitant to answer. I let him know that her brother from Ohio is wanting to come back and spend quality time with his sister. I asked if he should drop everything and come now or wait till later this summer. He suggested that with the activity that this cancer has already indicated he would recommend sooner than later.
Dr. Bala indicated last Friday that there may or may not be any more attempts at trying to beat the cancer. He is leaning toward strictly palliative care. I am researching everything I can on line. So far I find more and more information about "chemo resistant sarcoma" and trials with every thing from adding heat to the body while giving chemo to throwing all of the vitamins, minerals, and any other pile of crap at it that they can. The end is still the same, they can, in very rare instances extend the life for a short time, but the tumor seems to always win, and some of the side effects from the treatments seem to cause more difficulty than the cancer itself would. There has even been some concern that the vitamins, natural or artificial, may actually feed the tumor cells better than the rest of the body. Knowing how Debbie has been improving her diet since November and taking the vegetable and fruit supplements I tend to wonder if that may not be true?? I did notice today that she continues to take the supplements.
At any rate I know that God has us in his hands, I do wish he would hurry up and bring a cure so that we can all jump for joy!!!
I also wish he would stop putting the shortest verse in the Bible into my head...."Jesus wept."
Thank you for your love and prayers,
Andy
Yesterday when we spoke with Dr. Breyer he was able to go over the CT scan with us. He pointed out a tumor in her left lung about the size of a golf ball, that last month had been the size of 9mm bullet. There were other tumors that have grown in the lung as well as the fluid, that was the 1.5 liters they pulled off prior to her leaving the hospital. He also pointed out that the small tail end of the pancreas was tumor, and he showed me some areas in the midsection of the pancreas that were highly suspicious of being tumor related.
I did get a little bold and asked the question that we have not asked since Dr. Bala initially gave Debbie a year to live. That was knowing what we know now how long? He of course was hesitant to answer. I let him know that her brother from Ohio is wanting to come back and spend quality time with his sister. I asked if he should drop everything and come now or wait till later this summer. He suggested that with the activity that this cancer has already indicated he would recommend sooner than later.
Dr. Bala indicated last Friday that there may or may not be any more attempts at trying to beat the cancer. He is leaning toward strictly palliative care. I am researching everything I can on line. So far I find more and more information about "chemo resistant sarcoma" and trials with every thing from adding heat to the body while giving chemo to throwing all of the vitamins, minerals, and any other pile of crap at it that they can. The end is still the same, they can, in very rare instances extend the life for a short time, but the tumor seems to always win, and some of the side effects from the treatments seem to cause more difficulty than the cancer itself would. There has even been some concern that the vitamins, natural or artificial, may actually feed the tumor cells better than the rest of the body. Knowing how Debbie has been improving her diet since November and taking the vegetable and fruit supplements I tend to wonder if that may not be true?? I did notice today that she continues to take the supplements.
At any rate I know that God has us in his hands, I do wish he would hurry up and bring a cure so that we can all jump for joy!!!
I also wish he would stop putting the shortest verse in the Bible into my head...."Jesus wept."
Thank you for your love and prayers,
Andy
Monday, May 12, 2008
Gathering Manna!
Win, you are so right. Somehow God provides enough each day to help us know that He really is in charge! And Jenny there can never be to many prayers, God hears each one, even the sighs of our hearts. Obviously Deb and I have no problem sharing our lives with everyone. Several weeks ago Rod had mention ministry, even during the misery. I am humbled by the idea that we are doing anything too out of the ordinary. We simply want to glorify God, like we have said many times, God did not give us this cancer, but He will help us deal with it. Truly God is involved.
Today was really a pretty good day. Deb slept most of the morning. When she got up she ate half a can of chicken noodle soup with my mother. I joked with mom that we should have thought of chicken noodle soup a long time ago! After all doesn't that cure just about everything!! :)
Megan and I did run some errands today. She went to the Dr. and found out that she does not have strep throat, most likely a virus. So we will stick with Ibuprofen and drinking lots of cold fluids!
After the morning of errands I came home and to grab Debbie we headed out for Radiation therapy and we visited Options home health at their office to get one of Debbie's pumps refilled. Other than just a little confusion and some pain Deb did really well. She was trucking around the Dr.s office like there was no risk of falling (which there is!!!!) When we got home from that outing Debbie was exhausted. On the way up the stairs into the house she somehow ended up falling backwards down the stairs. Instead of the usually one step behind her I was two, so she did go down, but I was able to help break her fall. It was enough to help remind us of just how weak and unstable she is. Now if you know Deb you know that a little thing like a fall down stairs would not slow her down. So tonight we were able to get back out and head to Megan's graduation.
Humpty Dumpty sure knows how to put on a graduation. Mrs. Stacie and a Mrs. Kay did a great job this year with the entire class. This preschool is a parent co-op and it really becomes another group of friends that work together to raise their children in a Christian atmosphere! The graduation is very much like a family reunion where everyone gets together and enjoys some time sharing memories and fun times. Megan was absolutely adorable, my dad took lots of digital pictures, so eventually I will post those along with the pictures of the dragon cake from Ryan's birthday
We continue to walk through this crazy process one day at a time. It is a journey we often find ourselves saying that we NEVER dreamt would happen, yet here we are. So we continue, one foot in front of the other, one moment at a time, all the while being held in the Lords arms!
Thank you all, and good night!
Today was really a pretty good day. Deb slept most of the morning. When she got up she ate half a can of chicken noodle soup with my mother. I joked with mom that we should have thought of chicken noodle soup a long time ago! After all doesn't that cure just about everything!! :)
Megan and I did run some errands today. She went to the Dr. and found out that she does not have strep throat, most likely a virus. So we will stick with Ibuprofen and drinking lots of cold fluids!
After the morning of errands I came home and to grab Debbie we headed out for Radiation therapy and we visited Options home health at their office to get one of Debbie's pumps refilled. Other than just a little confusion and some pain Deb did really well. She was trucking around the Dr.s office like there was no risk of falling (which there is!!!!) When we got home from that outing Debbie was exhausted. On the way up the stairs into the house she somehow ended up falling backwards down the stairs. Instead of the usually one step behind her I was two, so she did go down, but I was able to help break her fall. It was enough to help remind us of just how weak and unstable she is. Now if you know Deb you know that a little thing like a fall down stairs would not slow her down. So tonight we were able to get back out and head to Megan's graduation.
Humpty Dumpty sure knows how to put on a graduation. Mrs. Stacie and a Mrs. Kay did a great job this year with the entire class. This preschool is a parent co-op and it really becomes another group of friends that work together to raise their children in a Christian atmosphere! The graduation is very much like a family reunion where everyone gets together and enjoys some time sharing memories and fun times. Megan was absolutely adorable, my dad took lots of digital pictures, so eventually I will post those along with the pictures of the dragon cake from Ryan's birthday
We continue to walk through this crazy process one day at a time. It is a journey we often find ourselves saying that we NEVER dreamt would happen, yet here we are. So we continue, one foot in front of the other, one moment at a time, all the while being held in the Lords arms!
Thank you all, and good night!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
One amazing lady!
We all know how tough Deb is. Today she once again proved her grit. Getting up for church was a struggle. She was exhausted, even after a fairly quiet night of sleep. She showered, dressed, and applied makeup, only to sweat the makeup mostly off. Something about the drugs she is on really makes her hot!
We made it to church and she really enjoyed just being out of the hospital, and out of bed. The pain was getting to her, but she would not give up. We had her in the wheel chair to save her energy, Megan glued herself to moms lap. I think that had something to do with the fact that the last time Megan saw mom in a wheel chair she was in the hospital for many days afterward. Not to mention Megan still didn't feel all that well.
Thank you to everyone for the prayers and well wishes at church. You truly are a big part of our family. I remember announcing back in November that we would be starting a battle against cancer. I knew then that our lives would change, and like everyone else we had really thought our battle had been more of a skirmish. I am so glad that we have all of you there for support. You truly make this mess much easier to deal with!
After church Deb came home and was able to sit for lunch. Still tired, but also still a trooper. She finally lay down and slept until dinner time. Came out and joined in the third day of parties at our house. Today we had the DaVolts and Kidwells join all the rest of us for a big pork steak dinner! It was almost like old times. I enjoy cooking those pork steaks and everyone else can figure out the vegetables!! :) Somehow we ended up with over 20 people eating and having fun. Debbie was there for the entire dinner, and had even managed to get out on her lounge chair to talk with the other moms! What a wonderful day!!
Finally she was done, and had to lay down again. This time we had quite the scare! Tiffany, an RN, went in to check on Deb. Deb asked if she had brought water to bed. She showed Tiffany her side that was all wet. It was blood! One of the lines from her pump had come loose, the blood then took the path of least resistance out the port! What a mess, and very scary to think that could have happened during the night and I would not have found it until much later!! As is she only lost maybe 30 to 50 cc's, more or less, her shirt had a huge pool of blood, and the sheets were a wreck, but there was no real danger. Tiffany and I grabbed Debs Vet bag pulled out the syringes and Tiff flushed the line to keep clots from forming. Everything was o.k.
Megan still has a sore throat, and I still feel like I am fighting something off. So on top of everything else I think tomorrow we will call to get a dose of antibiotics. Tomorrow night Megan graduates from Humpty Dumpty! Lots of Pomp and Circumstance, mortar board and gown! Deb obviously wants to go! We are looking forward to it!
Deb will have her Radiation treatment tomorrow afternoon and we meet with our home health nurse from Options. So another busy day. My parents are still in town and Joyce will be back tomorrow. It is so nice to have family around to help!
God is providing answers to our prayers! He is providing this family and extended family to share His love for us in a tangible way. God truly weeps with us and laughs with us. We are blessed in so many ways it is hard to even think of them all at one time! We live moment to moment, and yet God continues to show Himself through it all.
Until tomorrow,
Andy
We made it to church and she really enjoyed just being out of the hospital, and out of bed. The pain was getting to her, but she would not give up. We had her in the wheel chair to save her energy, Megan glued herself to moms lap. I think that had something to do with the fact that the last time Megan saw mom in a wheel chair she was in the hospital for many days afterward. Not to mention Megan still didn't feel all that well.
Thank you to everyone for the prayers and well wishes at church. You truly are a big part of our family. I remember announcing back in November that we would be starting a battle against cancer. I knew then that our lives would change, and like everyone else we had really thought our battle had been more of a skirmish. I am so glad that we have all of you there for support. You truly make this mess much easier to deal with!
After church Deb came home and was able to sit for lunch. Still tired, but also still a trooper. She finally lay down and slept until dinner time. Came out and joined in the third day of parties at our house. Today we had the DaVolts and Kidwells join all the rest of us for a big pork steak dinner! It was almost like old times. I enjoy cooking those pork steaks and everyone else can figure out the vegetables!! :) Somehow we ended up with over 20 people eating and having fun. Debbie was there for the entire dinner, and had even managed to get out on her lounge chair to talk with the other moms! What a wonderful day!!
Finally she was done, and had to lay down again. This time we had quite the scare! Tiffany, an RN, went in to check on Deb. Deb asked if she had brought water to bed. She showed Tiffany her side that was all wet. It was blood! One of the lines from her pump had come loose, the blood then took the path of least resistance out the port! What a mess, and very scary to think that could have happened during the night and I would not have found it until much later!! As is she only lost maybe 30 to 50 cc's, more or less, her shirt had a huge pool of blood, and the sheets were a wreck, but there was no real danger. Tiffany and I grabbed Debs Vet bag pulled out the syringes and Tiff flushed the line to keep clots from forming. Everything was o.k.
Megan still has a sore throat, and I still feel like I am fighting something off. So on top of everything else I think tomorrow we will call to get a dose of antibiotics. Tomorrow night Megan graduates from Humpty Dumpty! Lots of Pomp and Circumstance, mortar board and gown! Deb obviously wants to go! We are looking forward to it!
Deb will have her Radiation treatment tomorrow afternoon and we meet with our home health nurse from Options. So another busy day. My parents are still in town and Joyce will be back tomorrow. It is so nice to have family around to help!
God is providing answers to our prayers! He is providing this family and extended family to share His love for us in a tangible way. God truly weeps with us and laughs with us. We are blessed in so many ways it is hard to even think of them all at one time! We live moment to moment, and yet God continues to show Himself through it all.
Until tomorrow,
Andy
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Happy Birthday Ryan
Deb got up this morning and sat with us for breakfast. She has not been feeling all that well but has tried to make it out for the important parts of the day.
Megan and I went out and picked out a mothers day present. We brought home a new recliner for her to sit in and enjoy. She was able to sit amongst the family, Mike & Anna and Dedra, Gary & Tiffany and Stevie came in, my parents and Debbie's parents also came up. It has been a pretty fun day of just hanging out.
Debbie really wants to go to church in the morning so we will get up early and see how things go. We hope to see many of you there!
Andy
Megan and I went out and picked out a mothers day present. We brought home a new recliner for her to sit in and enjoy. She was able to sit amongst the family, Mike & Anna and Dedra, Gary & Tiffany and Stevie came in, my parents and Debbie's parents also came up. It has been a pretty fun day of just hanging out.
Debbie really wants to go to church in the morning so we will get up early and see how things go. We hope to see many of you there!
Andy
Friday, May 9, 2008
Close call
Debbie had a very rough night last night. She was throwing up numerous times throughout the night. This morning she was in terrible shape. She could not keep her oxygen level up, she slept most of the morning. Going for Radiation treatment was very difficult. In short she was in about as bad a shape as she had been since going into the hospital. The Dr. ordered home health, including two pumps, plus oxygen. He also was very clear that if Deb did not absolutely want to leave today that she could stay. Up until about 1:00 we were very uncertain as to her actually having the strength to go home. I finally got some food into her and it stayed down! Around 2:00 we made the decision to get out!
Thanks to Bev and the Nelson's I had plenty of help to get Debbie down to the car and away from the hospital before anyone could change their minds. After getting Debbie home she went right to bed, eventually Ryan and the birthday party arrived off the bus around 4:00 the activities began. Debbie enjoyed sitting in her lounge chair watching the activities. Vicky, Kim, Rod, and my parents some how had plenty of energy and the kids were having a blast. The dragon cake was a huge hit! The kids all screamed it was the best cake they had ever seen!!! Thank you Leanna for the hard work you put into that. I will try to get a picture posted on here of it eventually.
Debbie was loosing her hair so fast now that we went ahead and buzzed her after everyone left. She is much happier not having chunks falling around everywhere. We took lots of pictures of the buzz, including the Mohawk I gave her at first!! :)
I spoke with Dr. Bala this morning who had found another study. One location of the study was Boston, thought we might have come to visit Scott and Julie! Unfortunately when we called up there that study too had been put on hold or stopped. I have a call in to one of their intake persons to see if there are any other studies. But so far things are not looking good there. Dr. Bala said there may be some drugs that are in studies but that have not been used on sarcomas but could be, as apposed to some other drugs he could not use because they are not approved for any treatments. We will have to see if those will be appropriate.
I spoke to Dr. Breyer about Debbie's jaw and the pain that she is having. I have looked at the CT scans of her head. Apparently a CT of the head does not include the jaw? Dr. Breyer was fairly confident that the tumor is likely in her jaw as she has been having the same pain their and numbness for at least 2 weeks. He does not recommend radiation because the mouth is so sensitive that the treatment would be worse than the disease. Debbie agrees that she does not want the radiation in her mouth.
So tonight Debbie was able to say prayers with the kids in their room, and then head to her bed. She is enjoying being in her home again. Thank God for the small things, and the big. Ryan and Megan had many questions tonight about moms cancer after she headed to bed. Ryan certainly understands that the cancer is winning the battle. Megan in her innocent understanding asked if mommy would be alive for her birthday....I honestly answered we just don't know. She then asked if mommy would be alive when she is 80, I laughed and let her know that that may be stretching things a bit.
Thank you all for your prayers and for the many of you who made this day possible! At 8:30 this morning when I was talking to the Dr. on the phone I was not sure she would make it home. I also was not sure the rain would end so the kids could be outside having so much fun. In the end it has all worked out. God truly is carrying us in the palm of His hand through all of this.
Now if we can just be sure that Strep throat does not hit us all. Megan came home from Preschool with 101 temp. She only complained of a head ache. Tonight she has the head ache and a sore throat. I have a twinge in my throat. MMMM? Say some prayers. I will likely be tracking down another Dr. tomorrow if she continues her fever, it had broken today and she did fine, tonight no fever for either of us. Keep those prayers coming! :)
Thanks to Bev and the Nelson's I had plenty of help to get Debbie down to the car and away from the hospital before anyone could change their minds. After getting Debbie home she went right to bed, eventually Ryan and the birthday party arrived off the bus around 4:00 the activities began. Debbie enjoyed sitting in her lounge chair watching the activities. Vicky, Kim, Rod, and my parents some how had plenty of energy and the kids were having a blast. The dragon cake was a huge hit! The kids all screamed it was the best cake they had ever seen!!! Thank you Leanna for the hard work you put into that. I will try to get a picture posted on here of it eventually.
Debbie was loosing her hair so fast now that we went ahead and buzzed her after everyone left. She is much happier not having chunks falling around everywhere. We took lots of pictures of the buzz, including the Mohawk I gave her at first!! :)
I spoke with Dr. Bala this morning who had found another study. One location of the study was Boston, thought we might have come to visit Scott and Julie! Unfortunately when we called up there that study too had been put on hold or stopped. I have a call in to one of their intake persons to see if there are any other studies. But so far things are not looking good there. Dr. Bala said there may be some drugs that are in studies but that have not been used on sarcomas but could be, as apposed to some other drugs he could not use because they are not approved for any treatments. We will have to see if those will be appropriate.
I spoke to Dr. Breyer about Debbie's jaw and the pain that she is having. I have looked at the CT scans of her head. Apparently a CT of the head does not include the jaw? Dr. Breyer was fairly confident that the tumor is likely in her jaw as she has been having the same pain their and numbness for at least 2 weeks. He does not recommend radiation because the mouth is so sensitive that the treatment would be worse than the disease. Debbie agrees that she does not want the radiation in her mouth.
So tonight Debbie was able to say prayers with the kids in their room, and then head to her bed. She is enjoying being in her home again. Thank God for the small things, and the big. Ryan and Megan had many questions tonight about moms cancer after she headed to bed. Ryan certainly understands that the cancer is winning the battle. Megan in her innocent understanding asked if mommy would be alive for her birthday....I honestly answered we just don't know. She then asked if mommy would be alive when she is 80, I laughed and let her know that that may be stretching things a bit.
Thank you all for your prayers and for the many of you who made this day possible! At 8:30 this morning when I was talking to the Dr. on the phone I was not sure she would make it home. I also was not sure the rain would end so the kids could be outside having so much fun. In the end it has all worked out. God truly is carrying us in the palm of His hand through all of this.
Now if we can just be sure that Strep throat does not hit us all. Megan came home from Preschool with 101 temp. She only complained of a head ache. Tonight she has the head ache and a sore throat. I have a twinge in my throat. MMMM? Say some prayers. I will likely be tracking down another Dr. tomorrow if she continues her fever, it had broken today and she did fine, tonight no fever for either of us. Keep those prayers coming! :)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Thanks Gary and Vicky
Well what a day. I noticed today that most of the animals in the zoo are smarter than the people walking around in the rain trying to see them in their dens happily sleeping on a cool rainy day! Ryan and I had fun anyway. Nothing like a pair of walky-talkies to make a trip to the zoo an adventure.
I received text messages throughout the day to keep me up to date on Debbie. At one point Gary let me know that they had taken 1.5 lites of fluid from around the lung. Her pulse oxygen number was back to normal after that, at least for a short time. (tonight it was back down to around 88) We will get word later on the fluid and if it is malignant.
While I was at the zoo I received a call from MD Anderson. Basically what they had to say was have your Dr. call our Dr. They had reviewed her medical records and at this time there does not seem to be a study she would be able to participate in. I will talk with Dr. Bala tomorrow about calling MD Anderson, but after my conversation with them I am not very encouraged that there will be any reason to travel down there. If anything the Dr.s can discuss treatment options here.
We will start home health with Debbie. I really look forward to having her back home! The kids are very excited to have her home! I hope the rain holds off for Ryan's party tomorrow so she can sit outside and see all the nice flowers and enjoy the party!
The auction tonight was nice. I was glad to be back at least physically with Coyote Hill. I did leave early so that I could go see Debbie for the first time today.
I will say that mothers day may be very difficult. I was buying cards for Debbie from the kids and could not help the flood of emotions that came over me. I am so glad that Deb will be at home and that we can all enjoy the day together!
Tomorrow I hope to be blogging after the party and let you all know that things are going well. Until then,
Andy
I received text messages throughout the day to keep me up to date on Debbie. At one point Gary let me know that they had taken 1.5 lites of fluid from around the lung. Her pulse oxygen number was back to normal after that, at least for a short time. (tonight it was back down to around 88) We will get word later on the fluid and if it is malignant.
While I was at the zoo I received a call from MD Anderson. Basically what they had to say was have your Dr. call our Dr. They had reviewed her medical records and at this time there does not seem to be a study she would be able to participate in. I will talk with Dr. Bala tomorrow about calling MD Anderson, but after my conversation with them I am not very encouraged that there will be any reason to travel down there. If anything the Dr.s can discuss treatment options here.
We will start home health with Debbie. I really look forward to having her back home! The kids are very excited to have her home! I hope the rain holds off for Ryan's party tomorrow so she can sit outside and see all the nice flowers and enjoy the party!
The auction tonight was nice. I was glad to be back at least physically with Coyote Hill. I did leave early so that I could go see Debbie for the first time today.
I will say that mothers day may be very difficult. I was buying cards for Debbie from the kids and could not help the flood of emotions that came over me. I am so glad that Deb will be at home and that we can all enjoy the day together!
Tomorrow I hope to be blogging after the party and let you all know that things are going well. Until then,
Andy
Update on Deb-
UPDATE ON DEB-
With Andy out of town this morning I went to the hospital to catch what the doctors had to say and report back to Andy. I am sure that like myself most of you check the blog throughout the day - I thought that I would tell all of you what I found out this morning so that you could have some type of an update before Andy returns and blogs tonight.
Right now Deb is having surgery on her lung and is having extra fluid drained from it. At 12:30 this afternoon they are going to start her first round of radiation. She will have this done nine more times. Deb is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow afternoon just in time for Ryan’s birthday party. YEAH!!! She will be coming home with both the pain medicine and anti-nausea medicine in the pump/tube form, which is what she has now. After meeting the many doctors, Andy is right they all seem to be on top of things and very caring.
I hope this helps some of you as you anxiously await the next entry.
Vicki
With Andy out of town this morning I went to the hospital to catch what the doctors had to say and report back to Andy. I am sure that like myself most of you check the blog throughout the day - I thought that I would tell all of you what I found out this morning so that you could have some type of an update before Andy returns and blogs tonight.
Right now Deb is having surgery on her lung and is having extra fluid drained from it. At 12:30 this afternoon they are going to start her first round of radiation. She will have this done nine more times. Deb is being discharged from the hospital tomorrow afternoon just in time for Ryan’s birthday party. YEAH!!! She will be coming home with both the pain medicine and anti-nausea medicine in the pump/tube form, which is what she has now. After meeting the many doctors, Andy is right they all seem to be on top of things and very caring.
I hope this helps some of you as you anxiously await the next entry.
Vicki
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Anderson update
I have filled out an online referal, and recieved a very prompt call back from MD Anderson. Sheryl took all of Debbies information and will be requesting that all of her medical information be sent to them. This will take about a week to get all that information to them and then for the Dr.'s to review it. So as usually with cancer there is nothing that happens fast in the treatment world.
Sheryl did tell me that if she comes down she will need to physically be able to handle coming to the outpatient center about 5 days in a row. We would stay in a hotel near by. Sheryl's concern was if Debbie would be physically able to handle it. Dr. Bala will be contacted by their Dr.s if they can give him recommendations of treatments to try up here. Or they may be able to do a Dr. to Dr. admit down their. Again a lot of contingencies.
So again, for now we will keep working on making Debbie comfortable. Talking with Radiology about the new tumor on her hip and discussing the fluid on the lung.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Today I feel God's presence, He will carry us through! We are "standing on the promises of God" as the poster in our room declares! (Thanks Kim and Carolyn for that!)
Sheryl did tell me that if she comes down she will need to physically be able to handle coming to the outpatient center about 5 days in a row. We would stay in a hotel near by. Sheryl's concern was if Debbie would be physically able to handle it. Dr. Bala will be contacted by their Dr.s if they can give him recommendations of treatments to try up here. Or they may be able to do a Dr. to Dr. admit down their. Again a lot of contingencies.
So again, for now we will keep working on making Debbie comfortable. Talking with Radiology about the new tumor on her hip and discussing the fluid on the lung.
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Today I feel God's presence, He will carry us through! We are "standing on the promises of God" as the poster in our room declares! (Thanks Kim and Carolyn for that!)
MD Anderson
The Dr. spoke with the head of the study down in Houston. Unfortunately the arm of the study that would address the Extraskeletal Myxoid Chondrosarcoma has been put on hold. Apparently the drug company is the one putting the hold on. So there is no telling if and when that will reopen.
At this point we will talk with Dr. Breyer about radiating the new soft tumor on her hip to help reduce the pain she is having there. We will then discuss draining the lung. So no telling how much longer she will be in the hospital. I am working with the team to at least have her home Friday for Ryan's B-day party. I am not sure if that will happen. There are a lot of "Ifs'" between now and then.
After consulting with Radiology etc. we will plan on going down to MD. Anderson some time after that treatment. There are some phase 1 studies going on there but basically we will have to go down there, get evaluated and see if they can offer anything to help.
I wish there was more we could do. Her brother Mike suggested the Beer study where Beer could cure the Cancer. Too bad Debbie doesn't like beer. :)
I will be going with Ryan to the Zoo tomorrow with Ryan, when I get back I will be heading to the Red Neck Night of Fun. So I will be away from Deb for an entire day. I am not excited about it, but Ryan really needs dad right now, and I should really go to the auction. I will have the team call me with any changes tomorrow so I will be in on what is going on.
At this point we will talk with Dr. Breyer about radiating the new soft tumor on her hip to help reduce the pain she is having there. We will then discuss draining the lung. So no telling how much longer she will be in the hospital. I am working with the team to at least have her home Friday for Ryan's B-day party. I am not sure if that will happen. There are a lot of "Ifs'" between now and then.
After consulting with Radiology etc. we will plan on going down to MD. Anderson some time after that treatment. There are some phase 1 studies going on there but basically we will have to go down there, get evaluated and see if they can offer anything to help.
I wish there was more we could do. Her brother Mike suggested the Beer study where Beer could cure the Cancer. Too bad Debbie doesn't like beer. :)
I will be going with Ryan to the Zoo tomorrow with Ryan, when I get back I will be heading to the Red Neck Night of Fun. So I will be away from Deb for an entire day. I am not excited about it, but Ryan really needs dad right now, and I should really go to the auction. I will have the team call me with any changes tomorrow so I will be in on what is going on.
It is hard to type
Typing is difficult. We are sitting in grief. The good news first. The spots on the liver have not changed. Dr. Bala believes those may just cysts.
The difficult news. There is major tumor growth. The lungs have multiple more growths. The pancreas has a small new growth. There is a new muscle tumor on her right hip. Her right lung has a large amount of fluid that we may need to drain. Basically the cancer is winning at this time.
Dr. Bala is calling MD Anderson now.
The difficult news. There is major tumor growth. The lungs have multiple more growths. The pancreas has a small new growth. There is a new muscle tumor on her right hip. Her right lung has a large amount of fluid that we may need to drain. Basically the cancer is winning at this time.
Dr. Bala is calling MD Anderson now.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
2 units of blood today
Yesterday I missed the Dr. when I got there around 8:00 so today I got there at 7:15. I was able to visit with Dr. Bala when he arrived after 8:30. Well, guess we both wanted to be sure to catch each other. Today they worked on her pain meds more. Also she needed two units of blood as her hemoglobin was low, around 8. Her platelets were getting higher, 78, so there was some good news there.
The CT scan took place with out any difficulty his afternoon. I am feeling anxious for the news from the scan. If there is reduction in the tumors, then we will continue with chemo. If there is growth then the Dr. will make the phone calls to make things happen with MD Anderson. Most likely if there is no change we will also look at MD Anderson, but not sure about that.
So tonight has been a night of waiting, again.
Hey, I forgot to mention that we did get a cool care package from the Deans. The DVD's were great, I was able to put one in last Saturday while Debbie was home. She was watching and enjoying the scenery of Mt. Rushmore and the Black Hills! The kids loved the cookies and the pictures. Sorry I forgot to mention that! Tom, shoot me an e-mail to tell me all about the wheeling in Arkansas. I would love the distraction. Any good video for me to torture Debbie with? :)
Dr. Tracy, I told Debbie you are coming to town, I hope you will get a chance to drop in. It is hard to believe it has been 10 years since she graduated from Vet school!! If you have a problem reaching us you can go to www.frontyardchurch.org Pastor Nick told me he has a section in there, as of today, for ways to help. Nick would also be glad to help you get our e-mail address and phone numbers if you don't have them. I just hate to post them here since I don't want a bunch of spam and phone calls from folks in India trying to sell me something! :)
Again, thank you all for your continued prayers. Tomorrow will be a good day to see a miracle. Of course I am realizing that every day with Debbie is a miracle and we are being blessed in so many ways. What ever happens tomorrow it will be a continuation of a journey we are walking with God, and with each of you.
Until tomorrow,
Andy
The CT scan took place with out any difficulty his afternoon. I am feeling anxious for the news from the scan. If there is reduction in the tumors, then we will continue with chemo. If there is growth then the Dr. will make the phone calls to make things happen with MD Anderson. Most likely if there is no change we will also look at MD Anderson, but not sure about that.
So tonight has been a night of waiting, again.
Hey, I forgot to mention that we did get a cool care package from the Deans. The DVD's were great, I was able to put one in last Saturday while Debbie was home. She was watching and enjoying the scenery of Mt. Rushmore and the Black Hills! The kids loved the cookies and the pictures. Sorry I forgot to mention that! Tom, shoot me an e-mail to tell me all about the wheeling in Arkansas. I would love the distraction. Any good video for me to torture Debbie with? :)
Dr. Tracy, I told Debbie you are coming to town, I hope you will get a chance to drop in. It is hard to believe it has been 10 years since she graduated from Vet school!! If you have a problem reaching us you can go to www.frontyardchurch.org Pastor Nick told me he has a section in there, as of today, for ways to help. Nick would also be glad to help you get our e-mail address and phone numbers if you don't have them. I just hate to post them here since I don't want a bunch of spam and phone calls from folks in India trying to sell me something! :)
Again, thank you all for your continued prayers. Tomorrow will be a good day to see a miracle. Of course I am realizing that every day with Debbie is a miracle and we are being blessed in so many ways. What ever happens tomorrow it will be a continuation of a journey we are walking with God, and with each of you.
Until tomorrow,
Andy
Monday, May 5, 2008
Debbie had an outing!
Joyce just got home and told me that Debbie was able to get in a chair and head out side for a little outing. Joyce said going down the hill to the end of the parking lot was easy. The huffing and puffing trip back up the hill was great for Debbie but a little rough on mom! :) So while we were out in the yard Deb was out in spirit with us!!!!!!
Spring Flowers!
I missed Dr. Bala this morning but did catch the Neurologist. Unfortunately I am more interested in Bala, so tomorrow I will go even earlier. Deb had a little bit of a rough morning, more so because she was over medicated once again. Basically they are trying to find a good basil level for Deb so that she does not have to keep hitting her pain button, the problem is in finding the right dose. We will keep working on this one!
Deb continues to have the strange lazy eye and numbness in her lip. She has been eating and today she seems to have difficult in not biting her lip while eating. We were able to get up and walk twice while I was there.
I came home around 4:00 to find Bob Moore finishing up mowing the yard. He was able to make it nice for the ladies from church that came and helped with the flower beds and vegetable garden. Ryan and Megan had a blast and really enjoyed having everyone over. Thank you to everyone that helped. Also thank you to the ladies from Boonslick Animal Hospital that had helped to prep the bed by pulling out old stuff late last week! They will be coming back and working on the bed down by the mail box. We have received a very nice donation from Boonville for that flower bed!
Again I am humbled by the huge outpouring of love and affection from everyone. This is a very difficult time for our family, yet you all are making things much easier and the yard will look great when Debbie gets home. Sara you did great at helping with the kids through dinner and bath time. It was nice to be able to actually get to sit down before 10:00 with the the kitchen all cleaned up and the kids asleep and happy!
I am also thankful for the continued calls for support. I have spoken with Charlotte from Combined insurance. I have now mailed in the signed document, and a huge pile of itemized bills. Thank you Charlotte for reaching me. I have also spoken with a friend who is currently going through treatment with family at MD Anderson. This is truly a huge family full of friends ready to help. THANK YOU ALL!
Debbie is getting worried that she will not get thank you notes written to everyone that is helping! I am afraid that I will forget to mention something you all are doing while on the blog, but then I remember that you are not doing the things you do just to receive a card back. I know that you are all giving out of your love, and that God is honoring all the wonderful gifts you share, your time, your gifts and your talents are all given to the glory of God! Again Thank You, and to God be the Glory!!!!!
I will let everyone know tomorrow how the CT scan goes, though I doubt we will hear anything until Wed.
God Bless,
Andy
Deb continues to have the strange lazy eye and numbness in her lip. She has been eating and today she seems to have difficult in not biting her lip while eating. We were able to get up and walk twice while I was there.
I came home around 4:00 to find Bob Moore finishing up mowing the yard. He was able to make it nice for the ladies from church that came and helped with the flower beds and vegetable garden. Ryan and Megan had a blast and really enjoyed having everyone over. Thank you to everyone that helped. Also thank you to the ladies from Boonslick Animal Hospital that had helped to prep the bed by pulling out old stuff late last week! They will be coming back and working on the bed down by the mail box. We have received a very nice donation from Boonville for that flower bed!
Again I am humbled by the huge outpouring of love and affection from everyone. This is a very difficult time for our family, yet you all are making things much easier and the yard will look great when Debbie gets home. Sara you did great at helping with the kids through dinner and bath time. It was nice to be able to actually get to sit down before 10:00 with the the kitchen all cleaned up and the kids asleep and happy!
I am also thankful for the continued calls for support. I have spoken with Charlotte from Combined insurance. I have now mailed in the signed document, and a huge pile of itemized bills. Thank you Charlotte for reaching me. I have also spoken with a friend who is currently going through treatment with family at MD Anderson. This is truly a huge family full of friends ready to help. THANK YOU ALL!
Debbie is getting worried that she will not get thank you notes written to everyone that is helping! I am afraid that I will forget to mention something you all are doing while on the blog, but then I remember that you are not doing the things you do just to receive a card back. I know that you are all giving out of your love, and that God is honoring all the wonderful gifts you share, your time, your gifts and your talents are all given to the glory of God! Again Thank You, and to God be the Glory!!!!!
I will let everyone know tomorrow how the CT scan goes, though I doubt we will hear anything until Wed.
God Bless,
Andy
Keeping the Dr.'s Eye on the purpose.
It is late, but I thought I should check in before going to bed. The weekend seems like a blur! Saturday was filled with trying to get the Spinal Tap done. It did get done and according to the neurologist they have not found any cancer cells or other bad cells floating around yet. That is a blessing!
Ryan and I went to the Cub Scout camp at Thunderbird north of Moberly. Ryan was so glad to spend time with his dad, and I really enjoyed watching him having fun. The phone had next to no signal so I was a little frustrated on not knowing how things were going, but through a couple of text messages with Suzie and Gary I knew that Debbie was in good hands and all in the truly right hands, God's!
Today Ryan and I went right to mom to tell her about camp. We then went to the Petersen's to pick up Megan. Thank you Rod and Kim for a wonderful and relaxing afternoon! The tire swing passes the test!!!
Debbie has had a strange weekend with the neurologist involved. I feel like the case is getting a little side tracked trying to figure out why she has a "lazy eye" when the real fight is the cancer. I will be meeting with the Dr.s in the morning to try to figure out the plan of action for the week.
Kim T, I will try to reach you tomorrow, but if I don't for whatever reason just give my cell phone a call. We can play phone tag.
Thank you all for your continued words of encouragement. I am continuing to try to take care of myself in the middle of all of this, but as most of you know both Deb and I enjoy helping others far more. I want to thank Fairview Church in advance for helping with the flower beds and other projects! I know Deb will enjoy coming home to see the work, and she will enjoy getting out and getting her fingers dirty as soon as she is able (or sooner knowing her! :)
I have heard a rumor that Fairview is selling some pink bracelet's that say "Pray for Debbie" you can go to www.frontyardchurch.org to find out more about those bands and other ministry opportunities.
Also I am planning on going to the Red Neck Night of Fun the years largest fund raiser for Coyote Hill. I would love to see many of you there. You can check out www.coyotehill.org for more details on that event. I do know that my cousin Scott and his wife Julie have donated a week at their cottage in Maine for an auction item! There are many other wonderful auctions items that night as well. Come for the fun and the food! And come support Coyote Hill Christian Children's Home they are in ministry to the kids and right now to my family, without their support this would be nearly impossible for Debbie and I to deal with!!! Thank you house parents, and staff for your support, and thank you Larry for your continued support and encouragement!
Andy
Ryan and I went to the Cub Scout camp at Thunderbird north of Moberly. Ryan was so glad to spend time with his dad, and I really enjoyed watching him having fun. The phone had next to no signal so I was a little frustrated on not knowing how things were going, but through a couple of text messages with Suzie and Gary I knew that Debbie was in good hands and all in the truly right hands, God's!
Today Ryan and I went right to mom to tell her about camp. We then went to the Petersen's to pick up Megan. Thank you Rod and Kim for a wonderful and relaxing afternoon! The tire swing passes the test!!!
Debbie has had a strange weekend with the neurologist involved. I feel like the case is getting a little side tracked trying to figure out why she has a "lazy eye" when the real fight is the cancer. I will be meeting with the Dr.s in the morning to try to figure out the plan of action for the week.
Kim T, I will try to reach you tomorrow, but if I don't for whatever reason just give my cell phone a call. We can play phone tag.
Thank you all for your continued words of encouragement. I am continuing to try to take care of myself in the middle of all of this, but as most of you know both Deb and I enjoy helping others far more. I want to thank Fairview Church in advance for helping with the flower beds and other projects! I know Deb will enjoy coming home to see the work, and she will enjoy getting out and getting her fingers dirty as soon as she is able (or sooner knowing her! :)
I have heard a rumor that Fairview is selling some pink bracelet's that say "Pray for Debbie" you can go to www.frontyardchurch.org to find out more about those bands and other ministry opportunities.
Also I am planning on going to the Red Neck Night of Fun the years largest fund raiser for Coyote Hill. I would love to see many of you there. You can check out www.coyotehill.org for more details on that event. I do know that my cousin Scott and his wife Julie have donated a week at their cottage in Maine for an auction item! There are many other wonderful auctions items that night as well. Come for the fun and the food! And come support Coyote Hill Christian Children's Home they are in ministry to the kids and right now to my family, without their support this would be nearly impossible for Debbie and I to deal with!!! Thank you house parents, and staff for your support, and thank you Larry for your continued support and encouragement!
Andy
Saturday, May 3, 2008
GREAT MORNING!!!!!
Thank you all for your prayers! I certainly was discouraged as I watched Debbie yesterday and spoke with the Dr.s. This morning she called me before I got to the hospital. She sounded clear and strong. When I got to the hospital she was eager to change into some sweats and take a walk around the hall! She was absolutely back to full awareness and able to carry on a great conversation!
The Dr.s were the confused ones this morning as they tried to decide if they would do the spinal tap. Her numbers were rising and looking good, but one Dr. wanted the numbers higher and two others said it would be just fine. The two won and after talking to us about the side affects and reasons to do it we all decided to go for it. Deb was done by 11:30 and still feeling well.
She ate a little lunch, more than she has eaten for a long time. As she got more tired and ready to sleep she did get more confused, and the conversation went in all directions, but she was tired. She is sleeping well right now. She did say that the she wants to thank you all for your prayers, that the steroids they gave her last night helped, and she is really tired. So, if you happen to want to come visit today you might want to keep the visit short. There will be a couple of folks, Suzie Kidwell and Deb's brother Gary, who will probably be hanging out on and off most of the day to help her.
Gary will likely be at our house tonight. Ryan and I are heading to Cub Scout camp today, and Megan is having a sleepover with her friends Morgan, Caroline and Beth Anne tonight.
Again, I thank you for your prayers, my spirits were definitely lifted this morning getting to enjoy a real conversation with Debbie again. Though yesterdays conversations were kind of funny!!
As we figure out more about MD Anderson we can talk about a possible plain ride, or taking the RV that Loveall is donating, whatever will work for us and the Dr.s approve. I will be contacting MD Anderson after her CT scan early in the week. God is working through all of this and as I have stated earlier we feel Him in the room and in our lives constantly. You all are a part of His love and grace! THANK YOU!!!
The Dr.s were the confused ones this morning as they tried to decide if they would do the spinal tap. Her numbers were rising and looking good, but one Dr. wanted the numbers higher and two others said it would be just fine. The two won and after talking to us about the side affects and reasons to do it we all decided to go for it. Deb was done by 11:30 and still feeling well.
She ate a little lunch, more than she has eaten for a long time. As she got more tired and ready to sleep she did get more confused, and the conversation went in all directions, but she was tired. She is sleeping well right now. She did say that the she wants to thank you all for your prayers, that the steroids they gave her last night helped, and she is really tired. So, if you happen to want to come visit today you might want to keep the visit short. There will be a couple of folks, Suzie Kidwell and Deb's brother Gary, who will probably be hanging out on and off most of the day to help her.
Gary will likely be at our house tonight. Ryan and I are heading to Cub Scout camp today, and Megan is having a sleepover with her friends Morgan, Caroline and Beth Anne tonight.
Again, I thank you for your prayers, my spirits were definitely lifted this morning getting to enjoy a real conversation with Debbie again. Though yesterdays conversations were kind of funny!!
As we figure out more about MD Anderson we can talk about a possible plain ride, or taking the RV that Loveall is donating, whatever will work for us and the Dr.s approve. I will be contacting MD Anderson after her CT scan early in the week. God is working through all of this and as I have stated earlier we feel Him in the room and in our lives constantly. You all are a part of His love and grace! THANK YOU!!!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Now what!?
O.K. the MRI was all clear! no tumor in the brain!!!! So now that we know that the Dr. is concerned about what is causing Deb to have double vision. A neurologist came in and examined Deb. He really wants to do a spinal tap to see if she has an infection or if there are tumor cells causing difficulties while floating in the spinal fluid. Since her platelets are so low she needs to have more before they do the spinal tap. If she does not produce more on her own by tomorrow they will give her more and then go ahead and do the spinal tap.
The other problem is that Debbie has been more and more confused and having difficulties tracking conversations as the day has gone on. She obviously is thinking about her many clients and animals as many conversations relate to treating dogs and cats.
At one point she was discussing getting out of here and going out for dinner! At least she had an appetite!! She did eat some green beans and a little bit of pork shop along with some orange sherbet for dinner. So she has earned a treat, my parents are bringing the kids over in a little bit and bringing her in a turtle Sunday from Shakeys!!!!! :) I imagine I will get to share some with her.
The Dr. is getting more and more discouraged by the progress of the disease. Pray for continued wisdom that everything that can be done is done. At this point I don't know that Deb has the energy to travel to MD. Anderson if she would be able to get in the study. Her confusion is very discouraging to me. Pray for my continued hopefulness...
Thank you,
Andy
The other problem is that Debbie has been more and more confused and having difficulties tracking conversations as the day has gone on. She obviously is thinking about her many clients and animals as many conversations relate to treating dogs and cats.
At one point she was discussing getting out of here and going out for dinner! At least she had an appetite!! She did eat some green beans and a little bit of pork shop along with some orange sherbet for dinner. So she has earned a treat, my parents are bringing the kids over in a little bit and bringing her in a turtle Sunday from Shakeys!!!!! :) I imagine I will get to share some with her.
The Dr. is getting more and more discouraged by the progress of the disease. Pray for continued wisdom that everything that can be done is done. At this point I don't know that Deb has the energy to travel to MD. Anderson if she would be able to get in the study. Her confusion is very discouraging to me. Pray for my continued hopefulness...
Thank you,
Andy
Awesome God
http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=f9ee215bc49131d0caf3
This is only the chorus, and a pretty cool ending to a big concert I am sure, but I figured if we all got the song stuck in our heads it is not a bad song to keep repeating throughout the day!!!
By the way I never knew there was such a thing as "godtube" go exploring and see what you can find!
God bless you all!
This is only the chorus, and a pretty cool ending to a big concert I am sure, but I figured if we all got the song stuck in our heads it is not a bad song to keep repeating throughout the day!!!
By the way I never knew there was such a thing as "godtube" go exploring and see what you can find!
God bless you all!
Great Adventure video
http://video.aol.com/video/music-the-great-adventure-steven-curtis-chapman-the-great-adventure-concept-video/1773410
I don't know if it will work for you, but if you want to see a video and hear the song. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman singing his song. The horses are pretty cool! But God's Amazing Grace IS the great adventure!
I don't know if it will work for you, but if you want to see a video and hear the song. Here is Steven Curtis Chapman singing his song. The horses are pretty cool! But God's Amazing Grace IS the great adventure!
Oxymoron
The Dr. called this morning, he had been to see Deb before I got there. He stated that the double vision that she has been having is very concerning to him. This is where the oxymoron comes in. He ordered an MRI "STAT"! Now that was 2 hours ago. It is Friday, the MRI machines are booked solid and I don't really think there is such a thing as "STAT" when it comes to an MRI on a Friday.
Any way he is highly suspicious that the tumor has now started in her brain. If so he will make an immediate radiology consult and look at zapping it with Radiation. At least these tumors do respond to radiation!
Looking for some sunshine today. Thanks for your continued prayers of support. And Leah I will be looking for the food from Chicago!
Rick, isn't it funny how God can put things in our heads when our brains are scrambled. As we talked yesterday about "Outrageous Hope" I apparently was thinking "Radical Healing" I guess it all works together well! :) What ever, I just want to be sure that everyone continues to focus on the Grace, Love, and even tears that God shares with us! God trully is an Awesome God. For all of the kids from youth group, you will appreciate the two songs that pop in my head often. First is "Awesome God" and second "The Big Adventure" . We all sang those songs on many work camps, they helped get through some fun days and some tough days. They continue to do the same on these days!
Thank you all for your continued cards, gifts, prayers, food, and support!
I will report more later today on the results of the MRI, whenever they get to that "STAT"
Any way he is highly suspicious that the tumor has now started in her brain. If so he will make an immediate radiology consult and look at zapping it with Radiation. At least these tumors do respond to radiation!
Looking for some sunshine today. Thanks for your continued prayers of support. And Leah I will be looking for the food from Chicago!
Rick, isn't it funny how God can put things in our heads when our brains are scrambled. As we talked yesterday about "Outrageous Hope" I apparently was thinking "Radical Healing" I guess it all works together well! :) What ever, I just want to be sure that everyone continues to focus on the Grace, Love, and even tears that God shares with us! God trully is an Awesome God. For all of the kids from youth group, you will appreciate the two songs that pop in my head often. First is "Awesome God" and second "The Big Adventure" . We all sang those songs on many work camps, they helped get through some fun days and some tough days. They continue to do the same on these days!
Thank you all for your continued cards, gifts, prayers, food, and support!
I will report more later today on the results of the MRI, whenever they get to that "STAT"
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Mixed Blessings
I was able to be at the hospital this morning around 7:45. When I got there Debbie was barley breathing. The pain medication was so strong she would take a breath between 6 seconds and 30 seconds apart. Thankfully they had her on oxygen!! When the Dr. came in I shared my concern with him. He immediately changed her dosing and pulled everything off so that she could receive the medication only when feeling pain, or nausea (two separate meds but both very sedating!) She was still struggling to be "awake" even later this afternoon. Joyce (her mom) said that she finally awoke enough this evening to say she was hungry!! I bet, she has not really eaten in over a week, at least eating and keeping it down!
The mixed blessing was part of the conversation the Dr. had with us this morning. He stated that he was seeing some markers in the blood that may indicate the tumor activity is actually increasing instead of decreasing. Initially that got Debbie and I both a little discouraged, it didn't help much that we were also asked to think about filling out the advanced directive. The Dr. is concerned about exactly what our wishes will be if Debbie were to code. Basically with all the bone marrow involvement in her ribs, sternum and spine he is concerned that if the nurses go to do CPR they may cause extreme damage to her weakened bones. Any way to say the least we were feeling quite low.
Rick Matson came in a little later and spread the joy of Radical Healing. I was uplifted as we prayed! And later I remembered that we actually need to know sooner than later if the current chemo is going to work before we could qualify for the study at MD Anderson. So as I have stated the news is actually a mixed blessing. No one really expected this chemo to work, many studies have been done, this sarcoma just does not care if it gets a dose or not. So, next week the Dr. will do another CT scan and see how things are going. At that time we will discuss again the different options for the future. Deb will be in the hospital through the weekend and at least into early next week.
We continue to hold out hope for the future we are not just looking for healing we are looking for RADICAL HEALING!
Thanks for your prayers,
Andy
The mixed blessing was part of the conversation the Dr. had with us this morning. He stated that he was seeing some markers in the blood that may indicate the tumor activity is actually increasing instead of decreasing. Initially that got Debbie and I both a little discouraged, it didn't help much that we were also asked to think about filling out the advanced directive. The Dr. is concerned about exactly what our wishes will be if Debbie were to code. Basically with all the bone marrow involvement in her ribs, sternum and spine he is concerned that if the nurses go to do CPR they may cause extreme damage to her weakened bones. Any way to say the least we were feeling quite low.
Rick Matson came in a little later and spread the joy of Radical Healing. I was uplifted as we prayed! And later I remembered that we actually need to know sooner than later if the current chemo is going to work before we could qualify for the study at MD Anderson. So as I have stated the news is actually a mixed blessing. No one really expected this chemo to work, many studies have been done, this sarcoma just does not care if it gets a dose or not. So, next week the Dr. will do another CT scan and see how things are going. At that time we will discuss again the different options for the future. Deb will be in the hospital through the weekend and at least into early next week.
We continue to hold out hope for the future we are not just looking for healing we are looking for RADICAL HEALING!
Thanks for your prayers,
Andy
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